Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
