So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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