hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
