so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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