South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
These tits shall not be calmed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
