We're facebook friends in real life
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
