well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
