6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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