My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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