he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
