I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
