I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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