No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
