Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
