She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry about my life...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
