Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
