there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
