So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
