My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
