My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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