i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
