Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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