I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
