I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
