It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
