even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
