You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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