I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
