Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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