he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
