windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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