Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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