Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
