Already got asked if we're dating
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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