Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
