we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
