The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
