If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
