What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
