direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
