I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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