So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
