New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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