Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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(212): View more from New York

i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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(647): View more from Ontario

Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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(407): View more from Florida

She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.

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(214): View more from Texas

Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous

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