Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
