If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
