I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
