So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Let's get the cat blown out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
