Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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