Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
